I was on a road trip to Georgia, my brother was driving and my son Devon was in the back seat.
To kill time and our boredom, I downloaded a ghost hunting app that records EVP's. (it lets you hear what spirits are saying)
So I opened the app and my brother started to ask questions; "Is anybody here with us?", "What's your name?", etc.
After about the third question we got a very creepy, whisper of a voice say "Help Me!" My brother Kevin looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes and asked me if the app was real. I said "I don't know, let me ask a question".
I proceeded to ask "Who is driving the car right now?" Again a creepy, whisper of a voice said thru the app "Keeeevin".
My brother and I looked at each other with jaws dropped. I screamed out "Oh my God!" and begin immediately deleting the app out of shear panic while my brother began screaming to me "Get the app back!" "Do it again, I want to talk to it!!!"
I was yelling at my brother, he was yelling at me and then in the background a slight giggle became audible. My brother and I slowly looked into the back seat and saw my son now in a full fledged cackle, cracking up at us.
He said "uuum that was me, I was just messing with you guys. Ha Ha Ha!!! oooh my gosh, that was soo funny! "
I don't know who wanted to hurt him the most LOL... silly us for being so gullible.
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Funniest Mom on the Block
So last nite around 7:30, my son asked if he could go outside to talk to a couple of his friends.
It was already getting dark but I allowed it and told him he could have 30min.
At the 40 min mark, I called him on his cell and told him to come inside.
At the 50 min mark, I texted him to get his behind in the house. He texted in response "Neeevaaaaah! :)"
At the 55 min mark, I opened the door yelling for him to get in the house and his friends who were in my driveway scurried away laughing as he ran past me and inside the house.
"Devon?" I asked, "What exactly was that about?"
He replied "We were waiting outside the door for you to come out and yell at me, I was purposely not coming in"
"And why exactly would you do that?" I asked.
And through his own laughter, he says "Cause my friends think it's funny when you come outside mad at me, you get red and your face has the funniest look on it, it's just funny"
"Well" I replied, "I'm glad I could be a source of amusement for you and your friends!"
"Aaah" he sighed "You always are mom, your the funniest mom on the block!"
Glad to know these kids are taking us adults seriously these days...
It was already getting dark but I allowed it and told him he could have 30min.
At the 40 min mark, I called him on his cell and told him to come inside.
At the 50 min mark, I texted him to get his behind in the house. He texted in response "Neeevaaaaah! :)"
At the 55 min mark, I opened the door yelling for him to get in the house and his friends who were in my driveway scurried away laughing as he ran past me and inside the house.
"Devon?" I asked, "What exactly was that about?"
He replied "We were waiting outside the door for you to come out and yell at me, I was purposely not coming in"
"And why exactly would you do that?" I asked.
And through his own laughter, he says "Cause my friends think it's funny when you come outside mad at me, you get red and your face has the funniest look on it, it's just funny"
"Well" I replied, "I'm glad I could be a source of amusement for you and your friends!"
"Aaah" he sighed "You always are mom, your the funniest mom on the block!"
Glad to know these kids are taking us adults seriously these days...
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
You're a Wooty!
The other night we were preparing to go out to my son's basketball awards ceremony when I came downstairs and asked "Son, do I look okay?
He smiled at me with a sweet and endearing look on his face and replied "Mom, you look beautiful. You're a wooty."
"Devon?" I asked "What in the heck is a wooty" to which he matter-of-factly responded "A white girl with a booty!"
"Devon!" I exclaimed, "that is totally inappropriate!" and as much as I tried to keep a straight face I could not hold back my giggle and gave in "But awe... that is so sweet!"
Kids know how to make your day!
He smiled at me with a sweet and endearing look on his face and replied "Mom, you look beautiful. You're a wooty."
"Devon?" I asked "What in the heck is a wooty" to which he matter-of-factly responded "A white girl with a booty!"
"Devon!" I exclaimed, "that is totally inappropriate!" and as much as I tried to keep a straight face I could not hold back my giggle and gave in "But awe... that is so sweet!"
Kids know how to make your day!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Taco Night!
This one is a shorty but totally cracked me up..
Got home from work and decided to make tacos for dinner.
I get out the meat and put it in the skillet, chop the tomatoes and shred the cheese.
While the meat was cooking I decided to sit down and go through the mail, my son walks in and says "Hey ma, watcha doin?"
"Goin thru the mail" I replied. "Hey Dev," I ask . "Can you please stir the meat for me?"
"Sure!" he answered sounding especially perky...
Out of the top of my eye I see movement so I glance up to see him standing there with one hand on his head and the other in the air, while he is moving his hips around in a circle, hoola-hoop style.
"Devon!" I exclaim.
"Mom" he says and looks at me as if I were the crazy one... "You told me to stir the meat!"
Got home from work and decided to make tacos for dinner.
I get out the meat and put it in the skillet, chop the tomatoes and shred the cheese.
While the meat was cooking I decided to sit down and go through the mail, my son walks in and says "Hey ma, watcha doin?"
"Goin thru the mail" I replied. "Hey Dev," I ask . "Can you please stir the meat for me?"
"Sure!" he answered sounding especially perky...
Out of the top of my eye I see movement so I glance up to see him standing there with one hand on his head and the other in the air, while he is moving his hips around in a circle, hoola-hoop style.
"Devon!" I exclaim.
"Mom" he says and looks at me as if I were the crazy one... "You told me to stir the meat!"
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Come on, Hit me mom!
Today was a school holiday so after sleeping all day he was primed and ready when I got home from work. Unfortunately I worked a ten hour day...
"Hey mom, how was your day, what's for dinner?"
"It was good, how was yours and quesadillas."
He proceeded to tell me about all the things he did during the day in between eating and sleeping.
He eats and then is ready to play. He dances and plays with the dog, we play toss the empty milk jug around, we talk and finally i stop to clean the kitchen.
"Come on mom, I'm bored hit me with something?"
"Devon! I'm not going to hit you with something.."
"Come on mom I'll show you my ninja reflexes" he says
"No!" I reply
He persists "Hit me! Throw something at me!!"
"No!" again I refuse.
He begins to get irritated "Hit me wit something!" he yells.
Then this weird low pitched noise comes out of his mouth."aaaaaaaaaauuuuuunnnnkkk!"
Then again "aaaaaaaaaaaauuuuunk!" and again "aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuunnnnk!"
"Mom, I'm going to keep doing this until you hit me with something!"
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuunk!" "aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuunnnnnnk!"
So what's a mom to do? I pick up the empty milk jug and hurl it at him. Well needless to say "Moms still got it, cuz his ninja reflexes weren't as fast as my Chinese throwing jug and I nailed him right in the face to which of course he replies.....
"I can't believe you hit me!" and he stormed off.
Don't worry folks at home, the only thing hurt was his ego!
"Hey mom, how was your day, what's for dinner?"
"It was good, how was yours and quesadillas."
He proceeded to tell me about all the things he did during the day in between eating and sleeping.
He eats and then is ready to play. He dances and plays with the dog, we play toss the empty milk jug around, we talk and finally i stop to clean the kitchen.
"Come on mom, I'm bored hit me with something?"
"Devon! I'm not going to hit you with something.."
"Come on mom I'll show you my ninja reflexes" he says
"No!" I reply
He persists "Hit me! Throw something at me!!"
"No!" again I refuse.
He begins to get irritated "Hit me wit something!" he yells.
Then this weird low pitched noise comes out of his mouth."aaaaaaaaaauuuuuunnnnkkk!"
Then again "aaaaaaaaaaaauuuuunk!" and again "aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuunnnnk!"
"Mom, I'm going to keep doing this until you hit me with something!"
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuunk!" "aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuunnnnnnk!"
So what's a mom to do? I pick up the empty milk jug and hurl it at him. Well needless to say "Moms still got it, cuz his ninja reflexes weren't as fast as my Chinese throwing jug and I nailed him right in the face to which of course he replies.....
"I can't believe you hit me!" and he stormed off.
Don't worry folks at home, the only thing hurt was his ego!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Scared the Bajeezies out of him
Three months ago.
It was bedtime, I said good nite and sent him off to his room then settled in to a nice hot shower.
After relaxing from my shower I put on my jammies, came out of the bathroom, slid into my bed and snuggled up to my comforter.
A few stretches and a deep sigh later I closed my eyes and began to fall into a slumber. Suddenly I hear a deep mans voice from under the side of my bed say "How you doin?"
I screamed bloody murder! I jumped out of my bed and began looking for the kitchen knife I hide next to my bed.
Oh lord, You hear about this happening to other people but this was happening to me. There is an intruder in MY house!
Still screaming and looking for my knife I begin to hear another sound, and I realize my "intruder" was Laughing!
I turn around and see my son red faced and bent over laughing at the top of his lungs. "You should see your face!!!" he says.
"Devon! You scared the heck out of me" I scoffed.
Still laughing he says "I've never seen you move that fast mom"
He walks out of my room still laughing on his way out and says " ah, that was great! "
I didn't sleep at all that night.
Since then I have been plotting and planning on how I could get him back; but all that went out the window when opportunity presented itself.
It was the perfect setting, Friday afternoon and I left work a little early, traffic was a breeze so my normal 40 minute drive took 15 minutes.
I open the front door and hear the shower upstairs running. A ha! This is going to be good!
I slowly sneak up the stairs as quiet as a mouse and slither into his bathroom.
I inch my way to the shower and count it down 3 - 2 - 1....
I rip the shower curtain back and yell "How you doin?"
Fear and panic took over his face and I hear this loud, high pitched, glass breaking, Mariah Carey high note scream.
"aaahhh hahaha!" I busted out laughing, "You sound like a girl!"
The look of fear on his face quickly turns into rage as he slams the shower curtain shut and says "Don't talk to me!"
Karma is a "B" kiddo and so am I!
...still laughing about that one!
It was bedtime, I said good nite and sent him off to his room then settled in to a nice hot shower.
After relaxing from my shower I put on my jammies, came out of the bathroom, slid into my bed and snuggled up to my comforter.
A few stretches and a deep sigh later I closed my eyes and began to fall into a slumber. Suddenly I hear a deep mans voice from under the side of my bed say "How you doin?"
I screamed bloody murder! I jumped out of my bed and began looking for the kitchen knife I hide next to my bed.
Oh lord, You hear about this happening to other people but this was happening to me. There is an intruder in MY house!
Still screaming and looking for my knife I begin to hear another sound, and I realize my "intruder" was Laughing!
I turn around and see my son red faced and bent over laughing at the top of his lungs. "You should see your face!!!" he says.
"Devon! You scared the heck out of me" I scoffed.
Still laughing he says "I've never seen you move that fast mom"
He walks out of my room still laughing on his way out and says " ah, that was great! "
I didn't sleep at all that night.
Since then I have been plotting and planning on how I could get him back; but all that went out the window when opportunity presented itself.
It was the perfect setting, Friday afternoon and I left work a little early, traffic was a breeze so my normal 40 minute drive took 15 minutes.
I open the front door and hear the shower upstairs running. A ha! This is going to be good!
I slowly sneak up the stairs as quiet as a mouse and slither into his bathroom.
I inch my way to the shower and count it down 3 - 2 - 1....
I rip the shower curtain back and yell "How you doin?"
Fear and panic took over his face and I hear this loud, high pitched, glass breaking, Mariah Carey high note scream.
"aaahhh hahaha!" I busted out laughing, "You sound like a girl!"
The look of fear on his face quickly turns into rage as he slams the shower curtain shut and says "Don't talk to me!"
Karma is a "B" kiddo and so am I!
...still laughing about that one!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
What he wants to be when he grows up.
Sitting on the couch watching HSN and trying to figure out how in the world Snookie from Jersey Shore got her own perfume and more importantly why people are buying it. Oh yes the smell of booze, sweat and STD,s sounds fab! Send me three.
Just as my brain cells begin to swell Devon pops in and says "Hey Ma!" "How much money do strippers make?"
Wait, what? Did I hear that question correctly? I decide to see where he was going with this and replied "Well, I guess it would depend on if they were any good at it ?" ( Ok don't judge me, how else are you supposed to answer a question like that? )
"Ok" he says, "How old do you have to be to be a stripper? "
I mute Snookie and look at him inquisitively. "18" I answer.
Now I have figured out by now where he is going with this but I'm going to see just how far he is going to take this conversation.
A few minutes pass as I sit there open eyed waiting for it and then he says it "Mom, how would you feel if I became stripper?"
I cracked up laughing...on the inside but on the outside I sit there straight faced "Well Devon, it's not the career I would want for you"
"Just listen" he says, "I could do it for a year and save up all the money, I'm sexy so I know I could make good money then I could use it to buy a car"
Now... On one hand I can't help but be proud that he is business minded and planning out how he will be able to afford a car but on the other hand... "Oh hell to the nah!"
How do I get outta this one you ask? "Devon that is a great thought starter but marinate on it for a little while and see If you can come up with a better idea for a starter business. "
"Ok" he says, "I'll be back."
"I'll be here!" I reply.
You know how we as parents always say "kid, you can come to me about anything" yah... Seriously re-thinking that!
Just as my brain cells begin to swell Devon pops in and says "Hey Ma!" "How much money do strippers make?"
Wait, what? Did I hear that question correctly? I decide to see where he was going with this and replied "Well, I guess it would depend on if they were any good at it ?" ( Ok don't judge me, how else are you supposed to answer a question like that? )
"Ok" he says, "How old do you have to be to be a stripper? "
I mute Snookie and look at him inquisitively. "18" I answer.
Now I have figured out by now where he is going with this but I'm going to see just how far he is going to take this conversation.
A few minutes pass as I sit there open eyed waiting for it and then he says it "Mom, how would you feel if I became stripper?"
I cracked up laughing...on the inside but on the outside I sit there straight faced "Well Devon, it's not the career I would want for you"
"Just listen" he says, "I could do it for a year and save up all the money, I'm sexy so I know I could make good money then I could use it to buy a car"
Now... On one hand I can't help but be proud that he is business minded and planning out how he will be able to afford a car but on the other hand... "Oh hell to the nah!"
How do I get outta this one you ask? "Devon that is a great thought starter but marinate on it for a little while and see If you can come up with a better idea for a starter business. "
"Ok" he says, "I'll be back."
"I'll be here!" I reply.
You know how we as parents always say "kid, you can come to me about anything" yah... Seriously re-thinking that!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Mom, it's okay.... I am just smarter than you!
Last nite.
“Whatcha doing Dev?” I asked him as he sat there with pen and paper in hand. “Homework” (his one word replies are becoming an art form)
“What class?” I ask. He looks like at me as if I am disturbing him and replies “Algebra”. Now if I were a smart woman I may have stopped there satisfied that he was doing his homework but no, I continue determined to be an involved parent. “You need any help?” I ask him.
The long sigh of annoyance fills the room, he puts his pencil down and looks me straight in the eye “Mom, no offense but you can’t help me with this stuff, it’s very complicated”.
I gasp in disbelief that he could say such a thing. “Devon! I will have you know that I took Algebra and passed in high school AND I have a college degree so I am sure I can help you with your little homework assignment.” Humph… the audacity!
“Fine!” He gives in but is clearly aggravated by the disturbance. He calls out what I have determined must be alien coding or a language from a third world country “What is: | 3x - 2 | = 8 and | x + 1 | = 1”
A moment (let’s be honest more like five moments of silence) goes by then he says “Mom, you look confused.”
“No Devon, I am just trying to visualize the question!”
Panic begins to take over as I realize I can in no way, shape or form solve this problem.
“You don’t understand it do you?” he says. After a few more awkward moments of silence I admit defeat… “No” I mumble feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
Sensing my shame and humiliation he says “Mom, its okay. I am just smarter than you but it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I still need you… and right now I need you to go fix me a bowl of ice cream please so I can finish my homework…”
But I got the last laugh my friends… I didn’t make him that bowl of ice cream!!!
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