Ghostly Adventures,,

I was on a road trip to Georgia, my brother was driving and my son Devon was in the back seat.  

To kill time and our boredom, I downloaded a ghost hunting app that records EVP's. (it lets you hear what spirits are saying) 

So I opened the app and my brother started to ask questions; "Is anybody here with us?", "What's your name?", etc. 

After about the third question we got a very creepy, whisper of a voice say "Help Me!"  My brother Kevin looked at me with bewilderment in his eyes and asked me if the app was real.  I said "I don't know, let me ask a question".  

I proceeded to ask "Who is driving the car right now?" Again a creepy, whisper of a voice said thru the app "Keeeevin". 

My brother and I looked at each other with jaws dropped. I screamed out "Oh my God!" and begin immediately deleting the app out of shear panic while my brother began screaming to me "Get the app back!"  "Do it again, I want to talk to it!!!"

I was yelling at my brother, he was yelling at me and then in the background a slight giggle became audible.  My brother and I slowly looked into the back seat and saw my son now in a full fledged cackle, cracking up at us. 

He said "uuum  that was me, I was just messing with you guys. Ha Ha Ha!!! oooh my gosh, that was soo funny! "

I don't know who wanted to hurt him the most LOL... silly us for being so gullible.

Funniest Mom on the Block

So last nite around 7:30, my son asked if he could go outside to talk to a couple of his friends.

It was already getting dark but I allowed it and told him he could have 30min.

At the 40 min mark, I called him on his cell and told him to come inside.

At the 50 min mark, I texted him to get his behind in the house. He texted in response "Neeevaaaaah! :)"

At the 55 min mark, I opened the door yelling for him to get in the house and his friends who were in my driveway scurried away laughing as he ran past me and inside the house.

"Devon?" I asked, "What exactly was that about?"

He replied "We were waiting outside the door for you to come out and yell at me, I was purposely not coming in"

"And why exactly would you do that?" I asked.

And through his own laughter, he says  "Cause my friends think it's funny when you come outside mad at me, you get red and your face has the funniest look on it, it's just funny"

"Well" I replied, "I'm glad I could be a source of amusement for you and your friends!"

"Aaah" he sighed "You always are mom, your the funniest mom on the block!" 

Glad to know these kids are taking us adults seriously these days...

Don't touch the remote!

We were in the living room watching TV together.  

My son was on the loveseat and I was on the couch when I got up to get a drink from the kitchen.   

The dog jumped on the couch and sat on the remote inadvertently changing the channel to a station that was playing a Victoria Secret commercial.  

Devon yells “YES!” 

I look at the TV and see the half naked model in her undies and so I run from the kitchen to get the remote so that I may quickly change the channel.  

As I do, Devon dives onto the couch shielding the remote with his body yelling “Yes! Boobs!”  

Hey Victoria! … it’s no longer a secret, thanks a lot.

Taco Night!

This one is a shorty but totally cracked me up..

Got home from work and decided to make tacos for dinner.

I get out the meat and put it in the skillet, chop the tomatoes and shred the cheese.

While the meat was cooking I decided to sit down and go through the mail, my son walks in and says "Hey ma, watcha doin?"

"Goin thru the mail" I replied. "Hey Dev," I ask . "Can you please stir the meat for me?"

"Sure!" he answered sounding especially perky...

Out of the top of my eye I see movement so I glance up to see him standing there with one hand on his head and the other in the air, while he is moving his hips around in a circle, hoola-hoop style.

"Devon!" I exclaim.

"Mom" he says and looks at me as if I were the crazy one... "You told me to stir the meat!"

Mom, it's okay.... I am just smarter than you!

Last nite.

“Whatcha doing Dev?” I asked him as he sat there with pen and paper in hand.   “Homework” (his one word replies are becoming an art form)

“What class?” I ask.  He looks like at me as if I am disturbing him and replies “Algebra”.  Now if I were a smart woman I may have stopped there satisfied that he was doing his homework but no, I continue determined to be an involved parent.  “You need any help?”  I ask him. 

The long sigh of annoyance fills the room, he puts his pencil down and looks me straight in the eye “Mom, no offense but you can’t help me with this stuff, it’s very complicated”.

I gasp in disbelief that he could say such a thing.  “Devon! I will have you know that I took Algebra and passed in high school AND I have a college degree so I am sure I can help you with your little homework assignment.” Humph… the audacity!

“Fine!” He gives in but is clearly aggravated by the disturbance.  He calls out what I have determined must be alien coding or a language from a third world country “What is:  | 3x - 2 | = 8 and | x + 1 | = 1”

A moment (let’s be honest more like five moments of silence) goes by then he says “Mom, you look confused.” 

“No Devon, I am just trying to visualize the question!” 

Panic begins to take over as I realize I can in no way, shape or form solve this problem.

“You don’t understand it do you?” he says.  After a few more awkward moments of silence I admit defeat… “No” I mumble feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

Sensing my shame and humiliation he says “Mom, its okay.   I am just smarter than you but it’s nothing to be ashamed of.  I still need you… and right now I need you to go fix me a bowl of ice cream please so I can finish my homework…”

But I got the last laugh my friends… I didn’t make him that bowl of ice cream!!!